My first pregnancy was a rough one. I had morning, lunch time and dinner sickness. I hated every food except water melons and peppered organic chicken. I threw up until I peed on my pants and had a particular dislike for customer or coworker who wore anything red. My friends and relatives ( of course the female ones, since the males look so clueless you would think they don’t even know how a woman gets pregnant) kept on telling me that after child birth, once I held that bundle of joy in my hands my life would be rosy.
Oh! The lies that women tell each other. Why can’t we be honest for once. Don’t get me wrong, I love my baby and motherhood is beautiful but truth be told, sometimes it sucks. Women are very good at hiding their struggles. They make everyone believe that everything is so easy; that juggling motherhood, homemaking, full time career, evening classes as well as the demands of modern day life is just like a walk in the park.
So the young naïve woman feels like a failure when she struggles so much to balance these multiple priorities and maintain sanity at the same time. Why don’t we tell our daughters, grand daughters, sisters and girlfriends that we struggle with motherhood sometimes? Why can’t we admit that sometimes that bundle of joy feels like a bundle of sorrow? Why can’t we disclose that at times a woman feels like screaming herself hoarse, she feels like a miserable looser that can’t get anything right or a lost frightened little girl in thick jungle.
So to my sisters out there, motherhood is beautiful but you need to understand that it comes with a price. The little one can cry inconsolably until you start to cry, she will run a fever at the middle of the night, she will splash your face and hair with baby food and then giggle, he will turn your little organized house upside down, she will doodle your walls with your expensive lipstick, dissolve your powder in water and flash your favorite foundation down a toilet. One more thing, whether she is eight, eighteen of eighty you will forever worry about her.
Girlfriends, brace your self for this beautiful journey. Don’t look for perfection but be the best you can be. And when you occasionally feel like motherhood sucks, say it. It does not make you a bad mother but an honest and sincere one.