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How to deal with haters without becoming one

‘A hater is someone who is jealous and envious and spends all their time trying to make you look small so they can look tall’. Maya Angelou

When someone complains of how the internet has encouraged hating, I always retort, “Haters have always been there, the internet has just given the silent one’s bigger balls to hate and a wider platform to express it.”  Hate has become the 21st-century favorite pastime. And keyboard courage has called even the most cowardly haters out of their fox holes- they even troll people for posting photos of their cats. Can you believe it? Someone hating on you because of those little, cute and adorable furry creatures?

Modern day haters know no limit. They hate on you for your good looks or lack of them, wealth or poverty, success or failure, values and even love for God and humanity. Am convinced that if Mother Teresa was alive and on social media today, they would troll her for her humility, exemplary living, and good deeds.

So, why do haters hate?

Do you want to know why haters hate? Haters hate because they can. They hate on you:

  1. Because your life is phenomenal

Am yet to meet a hater who hates on a person whose life is mediocre. Have you met one? Please call me when you do. Only those below you try to pull you down. Those above you are busy living their lives and minding their business. To them, your life is so beautiful and radiant that you can shine even in the darkest night. Just as a bright light attracts moths at night, so does a phenomenal and a remarkable life attracts haters. So, when they hate you smile, you are doing a great job living your life.

  1. Because they see and want your glory but don’t know your pain

No one puts it better than Maya Angelou, “The problem I have with haters, is that they see my glory but they don’t know my story. If the grass looks greener on the other side of the fence, you can rest assured that the water bill is higher there too.” They just see your success and progress but they don’t know the price you have paid. Good things come at a price. We either have to work for them or despise those who pay the dues for their success. Haters choose the later, it’s easier.

  1. Because they are losers who love the easy way out

If you are a hater, you are a loser and I don’t mean to be disrespectful. Haters would rather spew their poison on your triumphs and battles than work on their flaws or pursue their dreams. They are victims of their own choices. It’s easier for them to disparage and troll you as you go through your daily struggles than ply their trade.

  1. Because they are jealous and envious

Jealousy is one of the greatest motivators and driving force for haters. They so badly want to be you and have what you have yet they have neither the character nor the strength to bear the weight of your life and struggles. No one describes it better than Steve Maraboli when he says, “Most haters are stuck in a poisonous mental prison of jealousy and self-doubt that blinds them to their own potentiality.”

  1. Because they are bigots with too much time on their hands and little to do

Bigotry is the curse of our generation. The challenge with bigotry is that it requires little or no effort to perfect. Haters would rather judge and condemn those different from them because tolerance requires more mental effort and reason than they are ready to put in. After all, ignorance and bigotry are handmaidens of propaganda and hate is mere propaganda.

  1. Because they hate their lives

Haters project nothing more than their self – loathing. They hate on you because the mere sight of you reminds them of what is right with you but wrong with them. You become an object of their hatred for the mere fact that you are a reflection of what they wish to be. Don’t let it get to your nerves, it really isn’t and has never been about you. It’s about them and as Shannon Alder says “It really isn’t about you. It is about the hatred they have for themselves. So smile today because there is something you are doing right that has a lot of people thinking about you”

  1. Because they crave attention and you’re their only path to relevance

Most haters live pretty mundane and unexciting lives. They love your phenomenal life but are too lazy, insecure or afraid to pay the price you have paid. They crave the perks and trappings that come with your hard work and struggle but have no guts to work for it. Hating on you becomes their ticket to attention and relevance. Be grateful that someone has to hate you to remain relevant. You are that valuable!

How to embrace hate for your benefit

Let’s face it. Haters are going to hate. If you have no haters, your life must be so average and middle-of-the-road that even the mediocre know it’s boring. As long as you are striving to be the best version of yourself, droves of haters will always hound you. So, how do you use their spite to spruce up your life?

1. Let the haters spur you to action

Haters should be the springboard that launches you to bigger things in life. Haters provide you with a great opportunity to shine and be the best you can. They would love to see you fail and you can’t give them that satisfaction. Let their ill-will be the energy that fuels your willpower and desire to be the best version of yourself.

2. Let the haters motivate you to beat the odds

Embracing hate can motivate you to achieve the impossible in the eyes of your haters. History has never been made by average people. History makers through the generations have learned the art of rising above the opposition and intolerance. Be a history maker by rising above the hate and beating the odds to a magical life.

3. Let the haters help you to become a better person

The character is never built in comfort but hardships. The most valuable life lessons are learned in the darkest phases of our lives. Let their negative energy fuel the development of something positive. Haters are the best teachers for resilience and purposeful living. Listen to your haters. You will be surprised by the lessons they unintentionally teach you.

To all awesome people out there, who are living their lives the best way they know how. Live on. We have to give haters more business by allowing our lives to be awe-inspiring. And to the haters, brace yourselves for an even busier season ahead. Please don’t disappoint us, hate on.

About Jenny

I am a daughter, a sister, a wife and a mother who believes in discovering the wonder and the marvel of an ordinary life by allowing it to inspire me and holding onto the belief that God uses the ordinary to do extra ordinary things in the lives of others. I believe that i do not have to be in possession of a great talent for my life to be magical. I can move mountains and change the world I live in by embracing whatever I have with a grateful attitude and nurturing my mustard seed to an amazing tree of greatness. I believe that I can begin and nurture great relationships, I can do an incredible job in my workplace irrespective of my title, I can be a great homemaker and can manage the resources that God has given me as a great steward. I am a firm believer of the Proverbs 31 not as a God’s judgment yardstick but as a sign of God’s confidence in the feminine clan and his perception of the incredible power he has given women. Yes I believe that ‘feminity’ is fascinating and God’s best gift to women.

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