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How to Use Silence to Win some Life’s Battles

I met Rachael ten years ago in a ladies conference. She was exuberant and full of life and her radiance just blew me away. We became friends fast forward since I loved her positive energy and her zest for life was contagious. We have been in constant communication since then and have gone on countless coffee dates.

Two months ago I received a call from my dear friend Rachael. She sounded very distraught and she wanted to meet me urgently. I agreed to see her that evening. At exactly 5.30 pm when I stepped into our favorite restaurant, I found her seated at our usual spot. Little did I know that what Rachael would share with me would change my life forever.

She narrated to me how her husband had betrayed her 4 months ago.  My friend owns a clothing store and so she travels quite often to source for merchandise. On the evening she was supposed to travel, she came home early to pack and generally prepare for the journey. Though she left earlier than usual, she missed her flight due to traffic snarl up.

With nothing more left to do, she decided to go back home. On arriving home Rachael noticed that the front door was unlocked. “This is weird”, she thought since they rarely left the doors open at that time of the night. On entering the house, she found two sofa cushions on the floor and a glass of juice knocked over and the juice was all over the table.

She was just about to scream when she saw something on the staircase. It was a blouse and a few steps up the stairs a bra and definitely not hers. As she rushed upstairs she could hear the moans and the groans, the bedroom door was wide open and her husband and his lover were making love. Rachael stood there speechless, her legs wobbled and her stomach churned.

After what seemed like an eternity the husband saw her and his body slumped.

“I see you two are having a very good time” she exclaimed with a wide smile.

“I will be downstairs preparing a cup of tea, kindly feel free to join me lover birds”. She added.

She rushed downstairs to prepare hot chocolate. After approximately 15 minutes the husband came down the stairs followed by his lover (or should I call her his whore?). “Oh! You are here already?” She exclaimed. “That was fast. As promised your cup of tea is ready, sit down let’s have a chat the night is still young.”

The woman hesitated and then sat down. When Rachael opened the flask to serve chocolate, the woman dashed for the door and disappeared into the darkness. Rachael smiled at her husband and said, “Looks like it’s just you and me darling grab the cup and enjoy your drink, this is likely to be one long night”.

For the next 4 days, she pretended that nothing had happened, was chatty and she even smiled more even though the battle was raging inside. On the 5th night, the husband couldn’t take it anymore; he got out of his bed knelt down and started sobbing hysterically. “Just say something, your silence is killing me,”

About Jenny

I am a daughter, a sister, a wife and a mother who believes in discovering the wonder and the marvel of an ordinary life by allowing it to inspire me and holding onto the belief that God uses the ordinary to do extra ordinary things in the lives of others. I believe that i do not have to be in possession of a great talent for my life to be magical. I can move mountains and change the world I live in by embracing whatever I have with a grateful attitude and nurturing my mustard seed to an amazing tree of greatness. I believe that I can begin and nurture great relationships, I can do an incredible job in my workplace irrespective of my title, I can be a great homemaker and can manage the resources that God has given me as a great steward. I am a firm believer of the Proverbs 31 not as a God’s judgment yardstick but as a sign of God’s confidence in the feminine clan and his perception of the incredible power he has given women. Yes I believe that ‘feminity’ is fascinating and God’s best gift to women.


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    When we’re not running off at the mouth, we can focus on what the other person is saying, plus pay attention to their nonverbal communication. It does take some courage to use silence as a communication tool, and it s not always easy to do. Ironically, we can feel more comfortable and safer if we keep talking.

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